Tag Archives: Heath

Peanut Butter + Banana Protein Smoothie

Holy mother of all that is good, I just made a bomb fucking smoothie. Check it out…

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1 banana

1 scoop protein powder (I use Sun Warrior vanilla)

1 tablespoon peanut butter

1/2 cup almond milk

About 1/8 cup water (or however much you think is necessary. Just a little is fine)

Blend that shit up. Drink it on down. Maybe cry a little ‘cus its so damn good.

I discovered that my house does indeed have a blender – a hand blender, actually, which is even better. So, since I’m tacky and had nothing else, I used whatever I could find (a nasty old tupperware container. IT WAS CLEAN I SWEAR) and tossed all my ingredients in there to blend. I was decent enough to drink it out of a cup for you, so be thankful.

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Almond milk? In France! C’est n’est pas possible!

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I would prefer natural, organic peanut butter, but in France, anything “natural” or “organic” or “healthy” or “not a complete hazard to your health” is considered snobby and is super expensive, or just doesn’t exist, so finding Skippy was a little miracle for me at the corner supermarket. Ehhh. (I’m not really complaining… lets be honest here, we all know Skippy tastes better than the watery organic shit.)

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Looks like the kind of thing you make when you’re a kid and you think its funny to waste a bunch of food for the sake of your stupid little game. Like mixing ketchup and wet, soggy bread, or something, and trying to convince your little sister to eat it. NOT THAT I EVER DID THAT OR ANYTHING…

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Et voilà! Your perfect barf-colored smoothie. It’ll knock your socks off, I swear.

** Note: I originally added 4 ice cubes, but my blender couldn’t crush them so I took them out, mid-blend, and added them back in later, only to realize that smoothies with ice cubes in them are kinda weird, so I took them out again. For future reference, use ice cubes if you have a real blender. If not, just skip them.**

This loin-tingling sensation has 285 calories and it’ll keep you full for hours. Its great for post-workout, or for breakfast, or for whatever moment in your day when you’re like, damn, I waunt that. Because even healthy people can treat themselves! Shiet.

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