Try as I might, something always seems to throw me off. I had been doing pretty well with my nutrition today, making good choices (albeit, I admit, ignoring portion control to an extent) and sticking to my planned meals without cheating in between, and even during dinner time with my host family, I was able to make decent enough choices (as in, not going for seconds on that delicious quiche lorraine my host mom made), but alas, I am in France and I can’t escape the temptations, even on the best of days.
My host mom, being the amazing, caring, considerate woman that she is, bought me some delicious butter/sugar cookies from the town they went to over the weekend, and offered it to me tonight after dinner and insisted that I try one. She knows how much I love sweets and I love her for always being thoughtful. I really am a lucky au pair. I excitedly opened the box to try a cookie, while mentally telling myself that I would only have one.
Guess what? I had 3.
We were all just talking, munching on cookies, and I almost felt rude not eating more than one, so I allowed myself another, and another, and now I’m sitting in my room with a small belly ache and a big load of guilt over my head. I had a great workout this afternoon and I ate clean all day long before dinner, but as is always the case, dinner time comes around and I fall into the trap of feeling like a guest in the home of some very gourmet French people, who eat for the sake of pleasure, not for the sake of health. This is the case pretty much every night, and I’m struggling to balance myself within this environment. I lack motivation and courage to say “no” and I easily give in when I’m offered seconds, or dessert, or cheese. I have spent over 5 months battling this same issue, and I’m beginning to wonder if I’ll ever really be strong enough to do what is right for me and my body.