Almond butter jars should come with a serious warning label:

This shit will NOT last nearly as long as you naively think it will. Don’t be a fool.


I bought my almond butter like a week ago, okay, maybe 10 days ago, and its a HUGE jar… I figured it might last several weeks… HA. What an idiot. It’s nearly empty and I honestly don’t know why! I think I black out every time I eat almond butter and I wake up the next day not remembering anything that happened, with a strange man in my bed (or in this case, a strange empty jar) and pills all over the floor. Almond butter is kind of like roofies I guess. Sweet! Drugs!




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